This is a True Tales Tuesday post.
Birthdays mean different things to different people.
Most people view them as a reason to celebrate, eat, drink, party, and have fun.
I do, too, to a certain extent, but as I get older and older, I have begun to despise my birthday.
I’m Turning 45 Tomorow
Today is my last day of being 44. (Yeah, I know I don’t look that old!)
I am going to be 45 tomorrow. I hate birthdays.
To me, they are just another reminder that I am getting old, and that I have not met many of my personal goals.
I’ve not completed any items that are on my bucket list. In fact, I have not even made a bucket list yet!
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately.
My thoughts are whirling, and I have been thinking about the negatives in my life, like the fact that I am still single, and don’t have a special person to love me or share my life with, and that I’m tired of having so many responsibilities upon my shoulders.
Somehow, I forgot to remember the positive things I have accomplished. Like being a rape survivor, a single mom who went back to school and graduated with honours to become a high school math and English teacher, and a woman who opened her own freelancing business.
I sometimes forget how much of an impact I have on others. I am always helping people! I have even saved lives!
Yet, sometimes, I cannot help but focus on my problems. I get so wrapped up in my own head that I tend to forget the big, important things.
However, I am not that old, I know.
I don’t have grey hair yet. I still look young. I have been losing weight for the past 14-15 months, and have lost and kept off about 60-70 pounds so far.
I am looking and feeling better each day.
For that, I am very grateful.
Age is Just a Number
Many people say that “age is just a number,” and that “you are only as young as you feel.”
While this may be true, age still matters, especially in relationships.
A while ago, I thought I was in love (with Mr. X).
Turns out, it was just infatuation, not true love. And more than just age mattered to me.
I ended up breaking things off with Mr. X.
I updated that post, too, where I wrote him a poem. I listed the reasons for why I ended things and suggested we both move on.
Moving Onwards and Upwards
I am moving on with my life. I have created new goals.
I’ve still not made a bucket list. The only thing that would be on it would be to ride in a hot air balloon. And maybe do some travelling, perhaps to India, to meet some of my Facebook friends.
I am a pretty simple person, actually, and it does not take much to make me happy.
I’ve lived a long life already.
I’ve done things I wanted to do.
I’ve lived out many of my sexual fantasies.
I’ve survived difficult situations, too. I’ve been addicted to drugs, gambling, and have been involved with prostitution.
I’ve also been respected as a teacher, and have gained respect as a blogger.
I’ve written for top blogs (such as Problogger), and will continue to do so in the future.
Writing Books About My Life (and SEX) is Next On My List
I’m going to continue working towards my goals, which include writing a series of books about my life.
Yes, they will include all the juicy details! I have already written several chapters.
I’ve even written about my first girl-girl kiss. (I am bisexual, although I like men more.)
I will share details about EVERYTHING.
These books are going to be unlike any other set of books you have ever come across!
Why? Because they will be true.
People Love Me Because I Am So Open
I know most people are not as forthcoming as I am.
I am very open and honest.
I have not met another person like me.
Birthdays Won’t Change Me
I’ve concluded that getting older won’t change who I am.
I will still be ME.
I’m going to be another year older, but so what? It won’t change how I feel, how I act, who I talk to, or what I do.
I will be the same person I was yesterday, tomorrow.
Only better, because I will be older and wiser. 😉
“With age comes wisdom.” ~Oscar Wilde
Now tell me, would you buy my books?
Tell me also what birthdays mean to YOU.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, so make sure you comment!