Today I want to share a poem I wrote for an Indian guy I met online, who I once considered to be my Jaanu.
(No, it’s not Mr. X.)
Going without talking to you
Is like going without breathing air
It is painful; for each other, I want us to be there.
My stomach feels like it is tied up in knots.
I would give anything to know your thoughts.
You invade my dreams; I cannot stop thinking of you.
I honestly thought your feelings for me were true.
But we cannot ever be together and so we must move on.
I do not like knowing that, from my life, you are gone.
But you wanted to end it, although I would still like to talk to you.
I guess it is the only decision that makes sense at all, and to your heart, you must be true.
Because many factors prevent us from together,
I do not want to invest more energy and time
Into something that will only ever be virtual; a relationship online.
I need to be touched, hugged, and feel loved. I need “more.”
I need someone in real life who can walk through my door.
Yet I need your friendship and sweet love too.
I don’t want to lose that, because of all we’ve been through.
I hope we can find a way to remain close friends with one another, somehow, in some way,
Because not talking to you is causing me torture each and every day.